It’s Mothers day and what do I feel? Guilt of course- part of the job description- but for my generation, the conscience is pinched at both ends. I miss Jena, my mother terribly, every day but most of all in March when she died in 2006, and then on Mother’s day itself when with her I was a child, her child forever. I think of how awful I sometimes was to her, the shouts and tears and, even when she was an old woman, my impatience and hurry to get on with the rest of my life. Well, now I have the rest of my life and I want her here. Then there are all those ways in which I fail my teenage daughter soon to fly off to university ( I hope and fear), for whom I would do anything and have and then casually let down because I don’t think about my words often enough when it comes to my family. My mother loved sev, sweet vermicelli and so does my daughter. Women from my Shia Ismaili community make it for a special lunch to feed seven pre-pubescent girls, who are also given rose scented hankies and rosaries, when they have a run of bad luck and want to turn it round. It tastes of sweet sorrow and contrition. When Ugandan Asians were thrown out by Idi Amin and arrived in Britain, many were housed in camps around the country. These lunches were made and fed to girls in hope. Many of the exiles have ended up rich and successful. Maybe there is something magical in the foods offered.
But today I make sev to say sorry- to Jena and to my little girl. And to tell them how much I love them.
Sev
I cup vermicelli- you can buy some which is broken into small bits and that is best
1/3 cup golden castor sugar
1 can evaporated milk
½ pt full cream milk
A handful each of sultanas, shelled unsalted pistachio nuts or flaked almonds
½ can condensed milk or less if you like things less sweet
¾ pt of water
½ tsp vanilla essence
Heat sugar and water in a pan with a lid and bring to the boil- boil for 3 minutes.
Add the vermicelli, put the lid on, lower the heat so it simmers for 5 minutes.
Check it is almost cooked or cook a bit more.
Add all the milks and simmer for 4 more minutes stirring gently so it doesn’t stick at the bottom
Add the sultanas, nuts and essence.
You can eat it warm or cold.